Sweet and Salty

Have you ever had one of those moments in your life where you wish you had a do-over button? I'm in the middle of one right now. I've come to a point in my life where I'm regretful of things I didn't do an should have done before now. Don't get me wrong. I'm madly in love with my handsome husband and my beautiful blue eyed girl. They would not be a part of this do-over. The stuff I would re-do would still include them being the conclusion of it all. I've always been of of those "what if" kinds. A few times it got my in trouble but the last one got my a husband and it's the best "what if" I've given into.
There is nothing to really give in to at this point. I'm simply envious of those who lived it up, whether individually or as a couple, before babies came. I'm envious of those who traveled abroad in their college years or after. I'm envious of my friends who just up and moved, bravely, across the states or world and have made it. I'm envious of those who actually learned something in college. I'm envious of my friends, my husband included, who know those randomly cool things about any and everything. I'm envious of my best friend who knows the name (s) of this plant because she's cool like that. I'm envious of my college friends who have already gone back to school and earned their MSW. I'm envious of my fashionable friends. I'm envious of my friends who aren't afraid to wear red lipstick. I'm envious of the people who I met and come in contact with who seem to have it all together and then some. I'm envious of the pages I read being something I want to have instead of writing the pages myself.
On the other hand...I wouldn't trade my incredibly handsome husband for any other man out there. He is a provider. He loves me unconditionally. He even lets me pout for a few minutes before asking if I'm finished pouting because he knows I just need to have a good pout sometimes. He is a hard worker. He loves Teagan and I to his bones. He loves the idea of family and helping out whenever he can. Somedays I feel like he towers over me but he is a tower of protection and not one that I cower before. Then there is our amazingly beautiful baby girl. She is the joy of my soul and I didn't realize I could love another human like I love her. She is a piece of me and Josh combined. She is the two of us melded together for eternity. How incredible is that? How thankful am I for her? More thankful as each day passes. Even when times are frustrating all I need is a sweet smile or a "lovin'" from Teagan and the world is good again.
So yeah, I get frustrated with my job and my house and where we live (kind of ). I get frustrated that I have to work or that I'm not using my degree properly. I get frustrated that I'm not fashoinable (despite what some of my Exodus girls think). I get frustrated we can't take Teagan and travel the world. Then, I come home to my untidy house, my handsome husband and my beautiful baby girl and all is well again.

I really want these shoes.

Innocent contradiction

I believe that title encompasses who I am. I am made up of a lot innocent condradictions. I feel like that is always who I've been but I'm just now realizing what title to put on myself. Here are some examples of what I mean:
I would love to be taller. I've been short since the 7th grade (I was "tall" until that point and then I stopped growing and everybody else seem to start). I craved to be taller from that point on. If I was taller I could do this. If I was taller I could be skinny easier. If I was taller I would be better at volleyball (yes, I did go all the way to college playing but I feel I could've been more useful with a few more inches). Then again...I'm okay with being short. If I wasn't this height Josh couldn't rest his head on mine with his arms around me. If I was taller then I wouldn't look as cute as I do in overalls. If I was taller then our bathroom sink would be too low for me to brush my teeth. If I was taller I might not love heels as much. If I was taller I would probably want to be shorter....that is just how I am.
Recently and at least twice a year I get the moving bug. I want to just pack up and leave and go on an adventure with my family. New house. New town. New experiences. New culture. The whole kitten-caboodle. I moved around a lot as a kid (Air Force brat) and I think moving and new places just sank into my DNA. I crave moving now. I get antsy when I'm in one place too long. However, our family is here. Our friends are here. We've finally found an incredible church home. Josh has a stable job. Teagan's daycare is top notch. How bad would I miss what I've been calling home since we finally settled? Which one has more power right now? To move or to stay? Lets just say if the oppurtunity ever arose for us to move we wouldn't say no but we're not out searching for it either.
Let me just start off this next one by saying Teagan eats better then Josh and I ever have or ever will. I love the idea of eating healthy. I love the idea of organic. I love the idea of locally grown. Finding the above mentioned is the difficult part. Where we live it's at least half an hour to an organic/locally grown friendly store. Also, if we'd like to eat at a decent hour and with Teagan (we like to eat as a family) trying to cook healthy and quickly before bedtime is a difficult task. By the time Teagan and I get home we have 10 minutes, maybe, before Josh gets home and by then Teagan is ready for her dinner. I guess it's all in the learning how to balance things but this is one thing I have yet to master yet. On the other hand i LOVE cookie day at my favorite restaurant. I LOVE carbs and I really LOVE fresh brownies.
I went to college. I earned a degree. I got a job right out of college because I did a pretty freakin awesome job during my internship there. I had a baby. I want to stay at home. I want to go back to school. I want to use my degree (which I really don't in my current job). I want to stay at home. I want to feel useful and not like I'm wasting those college years. I want to further my education and work in the school system or private practice. I want to stay at home. Simple enough, right?
My decorating sense is all over the place. I love a lot of stuff. I cannot visualize it without seeing it. I love vintage and I love modern. I love the simplicity and bold colors I find in most modern things. I love the clean lines and how organized it feels. I love the flowy, carefree, spirit & story telling feeling that vintage pieces give me. How to mesh the two together in a house that is neither? No idea...

My husband.

I love that when I hold hands with my husband I can no longer feel my hand but our hand. It's almost as if our individual hands meld into one. It's an incredible feeling.

Lovely Things

Is this not beautiful?

Confession.

I use the ranch sauce that comes with my wings for my french fries & celery and not the wings.

Hoot Hoot

We have a love for owls in the Reid house. Mainly because of Teagan. In the mornings when she wakes up she "whoo whooos" to whoever wins the race to get her up out of her crib. It's the cutest thing. With that said, I'm loving this mug!